Five Things I Would Tell My Younger Mom Self

DUMP THE FLASHCARDS. No seriously, throw them out right now. I tormented my daughter when she was in pre-K with these things and honestly she learned to read when she was ready to read. Me shoving pieces of cardboard in her face didn't make her read any better or faster and that time could've been spent doing things that were a lot more fun.

BUY THE DAMN PUPPY. My daughter had begged for a dog for years. I love dogs but I couldn't imagine adding one more thing to my to-do pile -- and let's be honest, a five year old is not about to pick up dog poop. During the pandemic -- because we were all delirious -- we bought a pandemic puppy. We all love the puppy/now dog but a sixteen year old doesn't experience the same exuberant joy holding a puppy as a five year old does. I so wish I could go back in time and hand that five year old girl a puppy.

DON'T LET YOUR KID'S ACTIVITIES INTERFERE WITH FAMILY TIME. For over ten years my daughter was involved in competitive dance, so there were a lot of late night practices and weekend competitions. That meant many missed family dinners and even several Thanksgivings. Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of positive things that resulted from dance but I wish I had put the brakes on some of it. When you're in the midst of it, it is easy to get caught up -- you think, if she doesn't attend this class or that competition then she won't progress. But as soon as my daughter hit high school, other interests took priority and she hung up her dancing shoes anyway. As the adult, I should've better balanced her extracurricular activities with the overall needs of the family.

LET HER PLAY WITH THE BIRTHDAY BALLOONS. The day after one of my daughter's birthdays parties (I think either 6th or 7th), she was scheduled to attend a dance competition. That morning she said she wanted to stay home and play with the twenty or so helium balloons we took home from her party. Of course I told her that was silly and she could play with them later -- I had paid the entrance fee to the competition after all. So we got in the car, drove the hour to the competition and she was sad all day. I should've just let her stay home and play with the damn balloons. As a working mom, I was focused on squeezing in as much as I could on the weekends and "sticking to the plan." While that was the right thing to do most days, on that particular day that was the wrong choice.

FORGIVE YOURSELF. You will make mistakes. You will raise your voice when you shouldn't. Forget to send in the snack and a thousand other things. But you always did the best you could and, at the end of the day, that was enough.